Forward, backward

And it is a never ending game. 2 steps in the wrong direction and we’re sitting there wondering who it is that’s to blame. No one want’s lies but who could really handle the truth..so that’s 2 more step we made us take away from me and you. Then there’s the tension we know we feel but words are sometimes difficultly passing here, so then there is space because i’m too nerveous to know that what ever it was may no longer show. Tension unspoken and words afraid to be said because no one is completely confident when we both want to win, there is the game, the method the play…the eventual move that has to be made. I will not make it because i am the girl, i am the one who wants to be promised you not the world. What i didn’t notice was that you were the boy, the boy who let me play with all of his toys and showed his world and that boys only do that for so many girls.
So i take 9 steps backward and to the left because now i’m regretting how much i stressed, how much i let the playground whispers stick in my ears and how i let those boys and girl bring to life all my fears. So now i’m standing nearly outside the fence, watching you play and twisting my painted fingers in my spotted brown dress…i can see that you see me and i understand sometimes that we were good friends and had alot of good times…i never knew why it was as hard as it became but i now do know that both you and I are to blame.

Recently now that we don’t play our game i’ve been allowed back inside and feel like i could remain…yet i’m unsure and cautious now because i know what it feels like to be kicked out. I hope that the game does truely end, no more dares of courage that come to meanless ends..just simple walk and swing on the swings so that little friends could become growup beings.

To the future i hope we share, to the friend i want to be to you and to the love have for you even if your not with me. Because i can’t look at you and not feel it.

To time and wishes because we all need them to survive.